We Did it to Offend YOU Only.

Where do I begin to explain how horrible people are?


I work in a dental office that caters to people who are ESPECIALLY entitled, oftentimes have more money than you have ever imagined or ever COULD imagine, and seem to sincerely believe that everyone on this planet is beneath them.
Take this morning, for example.
We have a woman in our schedule who is a known pain-in-the-ass. The type of woman who will ask you the same question fifteen times in four different ways because she is TRYING to trip you up. She is TRYING to make you out to be a liar, not in general, but TO HER.
The questions are almost always in relation to some stupid, unimportant bullshit. (Oh. And by-the-way…she is not the ONLY patient like this at my office. Generally, they are women; although I can think of a few men who do the same.)
She enters the office for her appointment (on time, which is typically odd for someone so entitled. If you didn’t know, those who suffer from ‘affluenza’ generally maintain that the rest of the world runs on THEIR time, because THEY are the only creatures on this planet who matter, and generally arrive anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes late–NO APOLOGY).
I say to her: “Good morning, Karen. I have just let your hygienist know you are here.”
Like clockwork, my coworker arrives at the front desk with her 7:30 am patient, and I begin the process of scheduling his next dental hygiene appointment. I finish with the 7:30 gentleman and as he turns to collect his coat, “Karen Affluenza,” as I will call her for our points and purposes here, says to me with the nastiest voice she can summon: “Does she know I am here?”
I paused momentarily, and replied “YES. She just has to clean up her operatory prior to seating you.”
*insert internal eye roll here*
*Did this bitch just NOT listen to me when I warmly greeted her and told her that I let her hygienist know she was here?? WTF?*
Karen Affluenza takes her seat once again in the waiting room.
The onslaught of questions thus begins:
“What time do you get here in the morning? Uh-huh. What time does your office open? Uh-huh. What time is your first patient of the day? Uh-huh. When do you start for the day? Uh-huh. What time does the office open? Uh-huh.”
And so on. And so forth.
The same questions.
Over and over and over again.
(“We all arrive at the office anywhere from 6:30 am- 7:15 am. Our office opens at 7:30 am, Monday through Friday. Our first hygiene appointment of the day currently starts at 7:30 am, Monday through Friday.” Etc, etc.)
My coworker, Karen’s hygienist, comes to collect Karen for her appointment.
I throw out a silent ‘thank you’ to the Universe that this woman is gone from the waiting room so that I do not have to look at her any longer or be steeped any further in her shitty energy.
Continuing on with the morning’s work, my coworker approaches the front desk looking extremely exasperated and tells me that Karen Affluenza is NOT happy with us.
You see, even though she has been coming to our office for SIXTEEN YEARS, she cannot seem to grasp/remember the concept that there is a different doctor in the office on Friday than the rest of the week, and, even though I informed her upon her scheduling this appointment that there is a different doctor in the office on Friday, she can’t seem to recall or care.
Until she decides she is pissy about it.
THEN she cares.
And it’s everyone else’s fault that she is pissy.
Because WE didn’t do our jobs.
Ms. Affluenza says to my coworker: “I thought I was your first patient of the day.” To which, my coworker simply states “No. Our first patient is at 7:30 am.”
(AGAIN with the same damned questions.)
Ms. Affluenza then informs my coworker that the system we are currently using to chart her gum health is “annoying” and “I don’t know what it is doing, if it is detecting cancer or something, but I don’t like this system of yours.” (GREAT. Thanks for your honest feedback, twatwaffle. You know, we chose this particular system specifically because we wanted to annoy YOU personally.)
As you can imagine, Karen Affluenza is a sheer delight for all of us at my office.
If you didn’t sense that the previous sentence was heavily laden with sarcasm, it is. Also, if you didn’t sense the sarcasm in that particular sentence, perhaps you and I should go out for coffee sometime and I can introduce you to my particular brand of snark.
It’s not that I hate my job, or my coworkers. Because I don’t. I love my work family, actually. They have been there for me always for the past 10 years.
But ‘these people’ who come to my office?
God. DAMN.

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